Pebbles

pebbles
i am still floating...a little bit shocked i suppose ... i've just discovered things about myself, things that i never thought had such strong hold in me... well, i realized sad experiences don't just heal over time especially when they're not dealt with "humanly"... meaning feelings have not been acknowledged and faced...
don't we all have the tendency to rationalize them? "things happen for a purpose" or "i am not the only one experiencing this, there are those whose problems are worse" and the like? ... well, i do. it has been my way of coping...
and i was clueless that those supressed hurt and anger, no matter how my life has been coated with blessings, would have to be resurfaced and released. otherwise, it would continue to hold me back from beeing free, from dancing freely to the music of my life. as my sd would say "no matter how the master calls, his dog cannot come if it is tied in chains..."
my Master, in His goodness, desires me to be free. thus he is slowly breaking the chains that bind me. and i thank Him for the grace, everytime He does. also for the people whom He sends to help me... it is a bit painful but i believe it is for my own good... for me to be able to claim his promise of fullness of life and complete joy...